Archive for February, 2004

Panda?

You know, I’ve been waiting for the day I could buy a hands-free panda. All this time, my panda and I keep getting tangled up in the cord and I keep getting distracted while driving. I keep thinking “I wish there were some kind of panda that didn’t require me to hold it 24 hours a day.” BAM! HANDS FREE PANDA!

I needed the weekend to be a little longer. Friggin’ super-tired this morning… I think it’s because I took a 12-hour Drixoral at about 11pm, leaving me very groggy at 7 when I got up.




Dear Jimmy Fallon,
There is no doubt that you are a very humorous man. Your apt impressions are often priceless, and that they translate even better to the realm of popular music is a delight to your fans. When you turn, however, to observational humor, however, please be careful. It seems that for you, it is very easy to lapse into a debatably unintended impression of Jerry Seinfeld. I’ve seen you do Seinfeld, and it is funny when intended, but now you’re just reusing his style, using his inflection and tone, and recycling his jokes.

Please stop.

Your friend,
Garrett




I suppose it wasn’t enough for my car to go Tango Uniform once in a 5-day period. No, the gods who smite cars approaching 200,000 miles on the odometer saw fit to leave my starter motor wounded, dead, kaput. Wouldn’t start. So, (this is Sunday) I get it towed. $400.

Did I have to say “It’s running fine now, knock on wood, and it’ll stay that way for a good long while if it knows what’s best for it.” last week? I guess I didn’t.





So, a few screenshots…

I thought this was absolutely hilarious. Perhaps a little puerile, but still, you’d think they’d filter to prevent things like this.


This is my junk email address that I check only once a week to make sure nothing important slips through. This is how bad the Mydoom Worm has gotten. It’s not that my computer is infected; it was only infected for a few hours early last week. The problem is that the worm sends out emails based on people you’ve sent email to, and someone who has sent me email or who has me in their address book is currently infected and is sending out emails randomly to other addresses with my address as the return address. Whew. Things like this make me glad I control my own mail server. Anyone who uses Windows should run this fix, just in case.
(And no, I could not have avoided this worm by running any other operating system; I would have also had to avoid sending mail to anyone running Windows as well.)

I am absolutely sick and tired of “entertainment” “news” “writers” using the most asinine, horrible puns in their headlines.
For example:

Above And Beyonce
No. no, no, no.

‘Barbershop 2′ Buzzes to No. 1 in Debut
Oh, hell, look at all these…



COME ON!!!

DGA coronates Peter Jackson for ‘Return of the King’
Come to think of it, there were a LOT of crappy headline puns for RotK when it was, er, reigning over the box office.

It’s like they all go to The Pat O’Brien Institute for Severely Retarded Journalists, which apparently consists of 17,512 hours of mad libs and 3 minutes of lunch/recess.
I just don’t understand how every headline for every article about a movie or tv show has to incorporate some inane, soul-sucking banality. It’s the same special ed school of thought that wrought “Jacko Whacko” and “Britney Splitney”…

I want science news to read that way…

Telescope Eats ‘Hubble’ Pie as it Falls to Second Place in Optics

That would be great.

In other news, it feels really good to wake up early and get to work way ahead of time. I wish I could do it every day.




And we can file this right next to the looney creationists on this week’s growing list of kooky religious folk. Er, I assume it’s religious. Technically, the article doesn’t mention it.




Wonderful Times

So, yesterday, I decide to take a short break from work and head over to the bank to deposit a check. Really, I just wanted to get some fresh air.

I was on my way back from the bank and plumes of smoke began to billow back from beneath my car, filling my rearview mirror. I quickly pulled off the road, and popped my hood, but I didn’t need to open it to see the problem. I was leaking coolant like an estranged husband about to die mysteriously. Turns out the previous owner had installed a flush/fill connector on one of my heater hoses and that decided to be the weak point in the system when the pressure built up.

A few stops and half a roll of duct tape later, the Explorer wheezed into the Tires Plus parking lot. The hose? $25. The labor? $75. That is not what I needed yesterday. Oh well. I suppose it could be worse. As my good ol’ dad says, it’s better than making car payments.

It’s running fine now, knock on wood, and it’ll stay that way for a good long while if it knows what’s best for it.




  • Archives

  • Minute by Minute...

  • Akismet: Spam Blocked