Garrett M. Vonk

I came across a fantastic article (it’s almost just a blurb) entitled There Is No God by Penn Jillette. I think it’s a really good read, no matter what your religious orientation is.

So, anyone with a love for truth outside of herself has to start with no belief in God and then look for evidence of God. She needs to search for some objective evidence of a supernatural power. All the people I write e-mails to often are still stuck at this searching stage. The atheism part is easy.

• Evolution
  Some Christians apparently see The March of the Penguins as good scientific support for Intelligent Design.

  Because obviously, the most contrived, mythical, unscientific explanation for something must be the correct one.
  

  “To think that natural selection or even the penguins themselves could come up with the idea to migrate miles and miles multiple times each year without their partner or their offspring is a bit insulting to my intellect. How great is our God!”

  Ignoring the ripped-straight-from-The-Onion flavor of that last interjection, pretending that natural selection is an entity that can “come up” with things sounds like a third grade science paper at best. It’s like saying “To think that gravity or even a rock could come up with the idea to fall to earth at a rate of 9.8m/s² is insulting to my intellect. Praise Jesus!”

  Oh, and I loved this bit earlier in the article:
  

  Due to harsh conditions, most of the young chicks do not survive.

  Hmm, yeah, I guess only the ‘fittest’ survive. I think I’ve heard of that before.

  So… Baby birds freezing to death in hellish antartic conditions over and over throughout the seasons is something you consider well-designed? And you wrote a press release to trumpet the fact that this icy death props up your pseudoscience so well? Now you’re insulting my intelligence.

• Abstinence:
  Hey, kids, you should try abstinence! In fact, let’s spend a billion dollars on teaching abstinence. Oh, we already did?
  

  “There’s a group of people who are using abstinence as a vehicle, pretending to be concerned about public health,” says Bearman. “But it’s really a vehicle to advance a program, a cultural program that doesn’t help public health.”

  This is a very good point. It’s similar to using Leviticus 18:22 to push an anti-gay agenda. None of the crusaders –who use this verse to condemn homosexuals– care the least bit about the other prohibitions in this chapter, which is rife with restrictions on all kinds of behavior. That same set of laws prohibits eating birds of prey, eating shellfish, cross breeding livestock, picking up sticks on a Saturday, planting a mixture of seeds in a field, and wearing clothing that is a blend of two textiles, but imagine that– nobody protests these activities whatsoever. Could it be that they are using the bible verse as a cover to try to restrict activities that might make them uncomfortable, conveniently choosing one restriction from the bible among literally hundreds that they ignore?

  Of course, it gets better. Later in the story, the good minister promoting these programs has the balls to throw his own daughter under the bus with this one:
  

  “A kid’s part of your program, and he comes to you and says, ‘You know, I’m going to have sex. I’ve reached a point and I’m going to do this. Should I use a condom?’ What do you say?” asks Bradley.

  “My own daughter, my 16-year-old daughter, tells me she’s going to be sexually active. I would not tell her to use a condom,” says Pattyn. “I don’t think it’ll protect her. It won’t protect her heart. It won’t protect her emotional life. And it’s not going to protect her. I don’t want her to get out there and think that she’s going to be protected using a condom.”

  But wouldn’t his daughter be more protected with a condom than without? “Not long term,” says Pattyn.

  Wow. CBS didn’t even bring up his daughter, but this minister wants you to know that he’s so committed to keeping kids ignorant about sex that he’d tell his own daughter, even if she’s going to have sex, not to use a condom. He’s an awesome dad, isn’t he? Combine that with the other statistics* on abstinence-only education that you can find in the article and I think he’s a good candidate for father of the year.

  [*Summary: Kids who try abstinence are A) one-third less likely to use condoms, B) more likely to try anal or oral sex, C) much less likely to get tested for STDs, and D) 88 percent likely to have sex before marriage anyway.]

• Eminent Domain
  I really can’t think of anything sadder than a private Catholic high school being allowed to annex a perfectly good bar through eminent domain.
  

  In Tan’s situation, Cotter said he would argue that the need for St. Peter’s Preparatory School to complete its athletic field outweighs the current use of the building as a tavern.

  And I think the need for me to have a ranch in Montana outweighs the current use of the land as Ted Turner’s playground. Damn, if only I were more politically connected, I could just steal whatever I wanted from its rightful owner!

Flying Spaghetti Monster
Originally uploaded by Garrett Vonk.

I had wanted to lay off the evolution thing for a while, especially with the relatively-recent ruling striking down the ridiculous anti-evolution stickers on textbooks here in Cobb County.

But The Flying Spaghetti Monster is too funny (and accurate) to pass up.

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

I’m sure you now realize how important it is that your students are taught this alternate theory. It is absolutely imperative that they realize that observable evidence is at the discretion of a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia.

I won’t quote it anymore; you just have to read the letter. It pretty succinctly illustrates the ludicrous danger of teaching anything but science in science class, out of respect for what some people believe.

Thinking this morning about the evolution textbook/sticker debate that has raged on in classrooms, board meetings, and courts across the land, I thought it would be funny to see a sticker required on copies of The Bible, with language similar to the stickers the anti-science crowd wants on biology textbooks.

Of course, to avoid duplication of effort, I went ahead and Googled it to see if such a parody sticker exists. Here’s what I found:

WARNING!!!
This bible is made up of stories, not facts. Serious disagreement among biblical scholars has existed for thousands of years about these stories. The stories in this bible should not be taken as literal truth or as facts. There are hundreds of other religious stories throughout the world that contradict and call into question the stories in this bible. This bible should therefore be approached with a spirit of critical consideration.

From http://blogs.lawrence.com/yellowdog/2005/feb/10/mythnotfact/

Pretty good. I am not in a position to, nor do I have the desire to, bring the Bible into question here. I just question the motives of people who selectively argue against teaching science to children correctly.

Why don’t they complain about the theory of electromagnetism, the germ theory of disease, and the theory of gravity? They’re just theories too! Nobody wants a sticker warning kids about other theories because these others don’t conflict with their specific religious beliefs. That’s the only reason, in my opinion, that there’s even an issue. Why? Most of the non-scientists injecting themselves into this debate seem to care very little about other science-related issues, even areas of science about which there is real, scientific debate.

Evolution is the central organizing theory of biology, and has fundamental importance in other sciences as well. It is no more controversial in scientific circles than gravity or electricity is…And, regardless of whether the changes in plants and animals are gradual or sporadic, the facts remain that plants and animals have evolved over time. There is no scientific dispute that evolution has occurred and continues to occur; this is why evolution is regarded as a scientific fact. (State of California, 1989)

This Terri Schiavo thing has gone further than any rational mind could have predicted, but I did appreciate the following quote from Libertarian Outlook:

So, it appears that the conservative Republicans who claim so much respect for the Rule of Law are just as quick to disregard that principle when it suits their purposes.